How to Fail a Dog Without Alienating the Owner

Telling an owner their dog failed your social evaluation is one the toughest parts of the job.  You often get tears, anger, denial and  rarely a new client.  We think you can change the emotion of this tough conversation and keep the client.  Find out how in this post.

All Dogs Go To Heaven and all are great pets!  This mantra is important for all providers of off-leash play services.  Inevitably there will be those dreaded discussions when an owner must be told that their dog cannot attend your playgroup.  Unfortunately, an owner’s first thought is I have a bad dog, so your communication must over compensate on the good qualities of their pet!  Keep reading for tools you can use to help communicate bad news to owners and tips on how to turn these dreaded conversations into more revenue for your pet center.

Social Environment

Remember that off-leash playgroups are designed for dogs that have good social skills, play appropriately and enjoy spending time with a group of dogs (click here for more details).   When we describe “a good fit” it means that the dog:

• has the appropriate social play skills and
• enjoys spending their days with other dogs

This is an admitted soapbox issue for us, but also an important reminder: off-leash playgroups are not a necessity in the life of the typical family dog.  Unfortunately, dog daycare and socialization has become a status symbol of sorts to people and as a result, dog owners can be devastated when told their dog is not a good fit.

Help the owner understand by emphasizing:

• The off-leash play social environment doesn’t work; but the dog is a great pet (in other words…it’s the environment, not the dog that is the problem)
• Types of behaviors that are a good fit in off-leash play
• Specific behaviors you observe in the client’s dog that indicate there is not a good fit
• Focus on both physical safety and emotional well-being of all dogs in playgroup
• Bully and rude, inappropriate play behaviors are not acceptable in the environment (Since these are frequent in dog parks it can be challenging to explain to owners that other dogs do not enjoy them.)
• Use educational tools
  • Dog Play Keeping it Safe and Fun (free gift with your membership)
  • Off-Leash Play Poster photos as body language examples.  (Sometimes it is easier for the client to see stress signals or yellow body language postures in a photo and then correlate it to their dog or the “victim dog” posture.)
  • Video footage from evaluation so dog owners can see behavior specifics that are not appropriate in playgroups.
  • Your professional experience operating off-leash play groups

Speak the Truth

Due to the multiple options available for off-leash play, pet professionals have an added responsibility to honestly discuss inappropriate behaviors in social situations with dog owners.  It is not fair to owners or their dogs to avoid the behavior truths and put other dogs at risk.  Not all behaviors that cause a dog to be dismissed from playgroup pose a risk to dogs in future social situations.  However, when physical injuries are involved or significant negative emotional impact to other dogs is a concern, your responsibility is to honestly describe the behaviors and future potential impact to other dogs.

These are not easy conversations to have with dog owners.  The Dog Gurus book, The Four E’s of Excellence, recommends ongoing behavior feedback reports to dog owners. Many play behavior issues can be resolved when identified early:

• Discuss inappropriate behaviors when first observed with clients
• Recommend options for correction
  • obedience classes and
  • use of cues consistently (at home and during playgroup)

Dog owners frequently are more willing to register for training when there is concern that their dog will no longer be accepted into playgroups.  These owners often have issues at home with their dog’s behavior and have come to depend on playgroups as a key form of exercise and behavior management.

Communicate: Tactful & Compassionate

Tactful communication of bad news and inappropriate behaviors does require excellent communication skills (check the Resources sidebar on the Community page for our favorite books on people communication skills).

Tact in communicating bad news:

• Over communicate that you and the staff really like the dog
• Refrain from talking specifically about the breed
• Avoid saying anything that implies the dog is a “bad dog”
• Do not imply the owner is to blame for actions or inactions

Each dog is an individual and their varied experiences result in the behavior patterns that develop.  “When we know better, we do better” so approach the issue from the current day and moving forward.

Compassion for the owner is an important emotion to keep in the forefront during this conversation.  Surprising an owner at pick-up with a lobby full of other clients may not be the best setting to deliver bad news.

Take time to thoughtfully plan your delivery:

• Limit phone call message delivery to failures you anticipated and discussed previously with the client or existing, strong client relationships
• Schedule an appointment for serious conversations
• Ensure privacy and time for all parties to be focused on the conversation

Regardless of the delivery method it is important to use language and analogies the owner can relate to easily; you do not want to deliver news in scientific or “dog lingo.”

Offer Alternatives

What often helps bad news discussions is to prepare in advance alternatives for the owner.   Options you offer may help their dog’s behavior issues or meet owner needs for reason they were bringing the dog to off-leash play.  You must ensure that your staff and other dogs will be safe if the dog comes to your center for other services.  

Offering alternatives lets you keep the client, continue to generate revenue and helps the owner find a solution that works for their dog.

Some good alternatives to offer include (only as appropriate to each specific circumstance):

• Individual play sessions with staff or exercise alternatives during day visits to your center
• Obedience sessions during day visits to your center
• Behavior modification private training sessions
• Pet sitting or mid-day walk visits at client’s home
• Small group or one-to-one play sessions with select dogs at your center

The day after you deliver bad news to an owner, place a follow-up call to the client to see if they have any questions after your discussion.  You may find they have a different emotional response or can’t recall specific details.  No matter how well you prepare and communicate, some clients may be upset and not receptive to your message.  However, in our experience, even clients that are initially upset and indicate they will not continue as clients may come back in time for other services or with other pets.  Honesty, tact and compassion is a winning communication combination when you must deliver bad news.  Nine times out of ten your business will benefit from this combination and every time you will sleep better at night!